Achtundzwanzig
More than with every new year, on every birthday, I become more reflective and more prone to setting resolutions for myself.
Twenty-seven was a year filled with change for me, and now with another year of my life behind me, I have a new perspective on everything. Here are a few things from the past year: finishing and passing my last national board exams, graduating from graduate school, 6 week trip to Europe, losing two grandparents, the birth of my nephew, moving back in with my parents, trying to figure out what I should do with my life now that I am no longer a student, deciding to move across the world, battling with bills, loans, and governmental organizations, and feeling at times like I have "lost myself".
I was very down on myself for a while, thinking that something was wrong with me for feeling so down and not knowing what to do. But writing out some of the things that happened the past year, makes me realize that my "down feeling" was me not knowing how to deal with the immense change and my way of coping with it, even though it might not have been the healthiest way.
While the new year of life does not erase the feelings I have had, it gives me a renewed sense of hope that things are always changing in our lives, sometimes more than other and sometimes more difficult. I now have a new goal to live more in the moment and to worry less about the future, past, and all things out of my control. Taking one day and one step at a time, and enjoying the small moments. I am so thankful to have made it this far in my life and thankful for all the people in my life that have made it all that much better.
Thank you Katja for this quote:
“...it's like this. Sometimes, when you've a very long street ahead of you, you think how terribly long it is and feel sure you'll never get it swept. And then you start to hurry. You work faster and faster and every time you look up there seems to be just as much left to sweep as before, and you try even harder, and you panic, and in the end you're out of breath and have to stop--and still the street stretches away in front of you. That's not the way to do it.
You must never think of the whole street at once, understand? You must only concentrate on the next step, the next breath, the next stroke of the broom, and the next, and the next. Nothing else.
That way you enjoy your work, which is important, because then you make a good job of it. And that's how it ought to be.
And all at once, before you know it, you find you've swept the whole street clean, bit by bit. what's more, you aren't out of breath. That's important, too... (28-29)”
― Michael Ende, Momo
Twenty-seven was a year filled with change for me, and now with another year of my life behind me, I have a new perspective on everything. Here are a few things from the past year: finishing and passing my last national board exams, graduating from graduate school, 6 week trip to Europe, losing two grandparents, the birth of my nephew, moving back in with my parents, trying to figure out what I should do with my life now that I am no longer a student, deciding to move across the world, battling with bills, loans, and governmental organizations, and feeling at times like I have "lost myself".
I was very down on myself for a while, thinking that something was wrong with me for feeling so down and not knowing what to do. But writing out some of the things that happened the past year, makes me realize that my "down feeling" was me not knowing how to deal with the immense change and my way of coping with it, even though it might not have been the healthiest way.
While the new year of life does not erase the feelings I have had, it gives me a renewed sense of hope that things are always changing in our lives, sometimes more than other and sometimes more difficult. I now have a new goal to live more in the moment and to worry less about the future, past, and all things out of my control. Taking one day and one step at a time, and enjoying the small moments. I am so thankful to have made it this far in my life and thankful for all the people in my life that have made it all that much better.
Thank you Katja for this quote:
“...it's like this. Sometimes, when you've a very long street ahead of you, you think how terribly long it is and feel sure you'll never get it swept. And then you start to hurry. You work faster and faster and every time you look up there seems to be just as much left to sweep as before, and you try even harder, and you panic, and in the end you're out of breath and have to stop--and still the street stretches away in front of you. That's not the way to do it.
You must never think of the whole street at once, understand? You must only concentrate on the next step, the next breath, the next stroke of the broom, and the next, and the next. Nothing else.
That way you enjoy your work, which is important, because then you make a good job of it. And that's how it ought to be.
And all at once, before you know it, you find you've swept the whole street clean, bit by bit. what's more, you aren't out of breath. That's important, too... (28-29)”
― Michael Ende, Momo
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