Meeting people in a new country
I started off the day having no idea about what I should write about. I was thinking about some of the things we have done and experienced the past two weeks, and thought, gee, we haven't done anything interesting or exciting, how will I find anything to inspire my blog posts? One of my biggest fears about blogging is that my writing won't be good enough on its own. I need to have some fancy picture or interesting location to talk about so that people will want to read it. In reality though, the whole point of me starting this blog, was as another outlet for me to continue my personal growth. So if no one ever reads this, then so be it! I am writing for myself, and if you can relate to that somehow, that would make me happy.
Another one of the biggest fears I had, specifically before moving to Europe was, "how am I going to make friends?". I believe it is a legitimate fear that a lot of people have. When we are outside the confines of forced group interactions, such as in school or work, how do you meet people? I found it especially difficult the first 2 years being abroad in Ireland, everything was new, I had the feeling that I didn't fit in with the culture, and I was irritated by my significant other because he is extroverted and can make friends so easily. The last year in Ireland was a turning point for me, I'm not sure what happened, but I started being more authentic to my personality, and I ended up connecting pretty intensively with a few people there. And then we moved.... Typical right? Just when things get good and comfortable, we decide to pack up and move to another new country, but this time I don't speak the language! Great.
If you have been following the blog, we packed up and moved to Germany. For some reason, this time around I am much less worried about meeting people. And I believe that has helped me to connect easier with people already.
Last week we went to a birthday party of a guy that L works with in his co-working space. To be honest, I didn't want to go, I was grumpy and didn't feel like socializing. Somehow, he convinced me, and it turned out to be a great idea. For me there is something freeing about expressing yourself in another language, it's the same feeling I get when I am somewhere where no one knows me. You can say/do what you want and no one knows any different. It's almost like I have this German speaking alter-ego who is more socially confident than I am! Anyways, the language thing immediately helped me to connect to people. Some of the people wanted to practice their English, and since I speak English pretty well, that was a selling point! There was another point in the evening, in which I started talking, pretty passionately, to two people about what I did, the education I had, and how that was different from what they offer in Germany. (I'm a doctor of chiropractic). Only to find out after I finished my passionate rant that they were medical doctors.... you know that dropping feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah, I had that. Only because I am not used to talking so openly and freely with medical doctors about what I do, and the fact that they were genuinely interested was surprising for me. I went on talking with one of them for quite some time after that.
By the end of the night we had plans to meet one lady to practice her English, plans to meet a few people for salsa dancing, and my favorite moment was when the lady medical doctor I was talking to came up to me and asked if I wanted to get a coffee sometime and got my number! I call that a big WIN for meeting new people! I wanted to jump around after that, because it is genuinely difficult for me to open myself up, and let people in. Somehow I managed to do just that!
Through my combined experiences, first in Ireland and now in Germany, I have learned that the best way to meet people is to be authentic and genuine around them. When you are uncomfortable or not being honest with yourself or others about who you are, people will pick up on that. And that is exactly the way I was in Ireland the first two years. Too afraid to be myself. And when I started being true to who I was, people started coming out of the woodwork and wanted to hang out with me! The same thing happened at the party, I was authentic, partly because I didn't know my audience. And I ended up connecting with a few people.
It's so easy for us to judge, we do it all the time without even knowing or realizing. And we never know what kind of person we will connect with, so by staying open, saying yes to things, and most importantly being true to yourself, like minded people will be automatically drawn to you.
Another one of the biggest fears I had, specifically before moving to Europe was, "how am I going to make friends?". I believe it is a legitimate fear that a lot of people have. When we are outside the confines of forced group interactions, such as in school or work, how do you meet people? I found it especially difficult the first 2 years being abroad in Ireland, everything was new, I had the feeling that I didn't fit in with the culture, and I was irritated by my significant other because he is extroverted and can make friends so easily. The last year in Ireland was a turning point for me, I'm not sure what happened, but I started being more authentic to my personality, and I ended up connecting pretty intensively with a few people there. And then we moved.... Typical right? Just when things get good and comfortable, we decide to pack up and move to another new country, but this time I don't speak the language! Great.
If you have been following the blog, we packed up and moved to Germany. For some reason, this time around I am much less worried about meeting people. And I believe that has helped me to connect easier with people already.
Last week we went to a birthday party of a guy that L works with in his co-working space. To be honest, I didn't want to go, I was grumpy and didn't feel like socializing. Somehow, he convinced me, and it turned out to be a great idea. For me there is something freeing about expressing yourself in another language, it's the same feeling I get when I am somewhere where no one knows me. You can say/do what you want and no one knows any different. It's almost like I have this German speaking alter-ego who is more socially confident than I am! Anyways, the language thing immediately helped me to connect to people. Some of the people wanted to practice their English, and since I speak English pretty well, that was a selling point! There was another point in the evening, in which I started talking, pretty passionately, to two people about what I did, the education I had, and how that was different from what they offer in Germany. (I'm a doctor of chiropractic). Only to find out after I finished my passionate rant that they were medical doctors.... you know that dropping feeling in the pit of your stomach? Yeah, I had that. Only because I am not used to talking so openly and freely with medical doctors about what I do, and the fact that they were genuinely interested was surprising for me. I went on talking with one of them for quite some time after that.
By the end of the night we had plans to meet one lady to practice her English, plans to meet a few people for salsa dancing, and my favorite moment was when the lady medical doctor I was talking to came up to me and asked if I wanted to get a coffee sometime and got my number! I call that a big WIN for meeting new people! I wanted to jump around after that, because it is genuinely difficult for me to open myself up, and let people in. Somehow I managed to do just that!
Through my combined experiences, first in Ireland and now in Germany, I have learned that the best way to meet people is to be authentic and genuine around them. When you are uncomfortable or not being honest with yourself or others about who you are, people will pick up on that. And that is exactly the way I was in Ireland the first two years. Too afraid to be myself. And when I started being true to who I was, people started coming out of the woodwork and wanted to hang out with me! The same thing happened at the party, I was authentic, partly because I didn't know my audience. And I ended up connecting with a few people.
It's so easy for us to judge, we do it all the time without even knowing or realizing. And we never know what kind of person we will connect with, so by staying open, saying yes to things, and most importantly being true to yourself, like minded people will be automatically drawn to you.
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