Always the outsider?
I've written before on meeting people and making friends in a new country. Since we have been in Germany we have had much more opportunity to meet people than we had the entire time we were in Ireland. Seriously!
When you aren't doing much and not socializing much, just like any other habit, the longer you go without it, the more you start to forget how to do it. That means, when we started having a fuller social calendar, I realized that I couldn't really remember how I interacted with people before. Strange feeling.
Growing up in one place, we develop friends, connections, and an extended social network. A kind of social status. It's easy, because its something that has developed slowly over time. And we take it for granted.
Being in a new place means, you have no social status, no one knows you, and most people aren't really interested in getting to know you. You are just another face in the crowd. This doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing though. Being able to to go somewhere where no one knows you can be a very freeing feeling!
So back to Germany. I have met quite a few people, and some I have started to hang out with somewhat regularly. Despite this semi-regular contact, I still feel like an outsider. I don't understand the jokes about past events, I don't understand the language 100% yet, people don't really know who I am. I am the outsider, trying to work her way in to deeper connections.
But how? And how long? How do you go from acquaintance to friend? I think it takes time and shared experiences. How much time, I don't know.
One of my friends in Ireland told me her story, she had been living there for 20 years or so, and finally felt like she was "in" the community. But despite all that time there, some people still consider her the "insert-country-name girl". She was still associated by many just by the country that she came from, not by who she actually was.
Is it possible to fully integrate in a new country? Or will I always be considered the outsider, the American-girl?
When you aren't doing much and not socializing much, just like any other habit, the longer you go without it, the more you start to forget how to do it. That means, when we started having a fuller social calendar, I realized that I couldn't really remember how I interacted with people before. Strange feeling.
Growing up in one place, we develop friends, connections, and an extended social network. A kind of social status. It's easy, because its something that has developed slowly over time. And we take it for granted.
Being in a new place means, you have no social status, no one knows you, and most people aren't really interested in getting to know you. You are just another face in the crowd. This doesn't necessarily have to be a bad thing though. Being able to to go somewhere where no one knows you can be a very freeing feeling!
So back to Germany. I have met quite a few people, and some I have started to hang out with somewhat regularly. Despite this semi-regular contact, I still feel like an outsider. I don't understand the jokes about past events, I don't understand the language 100% yet, people don't really know who I am. I am the outsider, trying to work her way in to deeper connections.
But how? And how long? How do you go from acquaintance to friend? I think it takes time and shared experiences. How much time, I don't know.
One of my friends in Ireland told me her story, she had been living there for 20 years or so, and finally felt like she was "in" the community. But despite all that time there, some people still consider her the "insert-country-name girl". She was still associated by many just by the country that she came from, not by who she actually was.
Is it possible to fully integrate in a new country? Or will I always be considered the outsider, the American-girl?
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