Absence makes the heart grow....
Okay...I think I am qualified as an expert in the field of long distance relationships now. I am in an across the world relationship right now. And to be honest, its not fun. I got inspiration to write this after talking to my friend Kim about saying goodbye to people. This is not my first long distance relationship, but what makes this one work so well as opposed to the other? If I knew before I got involved with him that he was leaving in just a few short months, I never would have gotten involved with him...and he knows this! I told him straight out. I was so angry, and coming off a cross the country "thing" with someone else the year before, I had no desire to do another long distance relationship. But I am so so thankful that I am with him, and despite past failures have a success story now with a long distance relationship.
A year and a half long relationship summed up to this: together for 4 months, apart for 3 months, together for one weekend, apart for 2 months, together for 10 days, apart for 1 and a half months, together for another 10 days, apart for 2 months, together for 6 weeks, apart for almost 4 months by the time I get to see him again in a few weeks. OMG is probably what you are thinking right now. How can anyone survive something like that??
I think the last one failed in part because there was no trust, we both were constantly texting in upwards of 100-200 texts per day..ummm.....craziness!!! We were both insecure and that never leads to a good situation. So with the first separation with my new guy some of those feelings and insecurities started coming back: what is he doing over there? Who is he with? Can I trust him? I found myself mad because I felt so depressed and at first I didn't know if he felt the same. I quickly came to realize (even before he left I knew it but hadn't really accepted) that he loved me, and more than that, he wanted to be with me. In his words "I am just leaving the country, I am NOT leaving you". :) I had to learn to let go of my fear and insecurity and just be and let him be. Now I have no worry about what he is doing or who he is with, and if we don't talk for a day or two, that's okay!! As long as I know he is alive and healthy, I am happy! I think that we have a stronger relationship than some people who are in the same country as each other!
Whats the key to surviving a long distance relationship? Well in my case it has been: 1. A desire (from both sides) to stay together 2. absolute trust in the other person 3. letting go 4. making time for the other person. I mentioned before how difficult it was for me at first, but the more time away we have had, the more I have learned to trust him, in fact I have no option but to trust him, or else I will drive myself crazy. And letting go, that is definitely hard for someone who is a control freak sometimes. Letting go of things that are not in your control, learning not to worry about every single little thing. Having faith that he loves and misses me also. Staying up until midnight even when you have to be up early in the morning just so you can see him on Skype for 5 minutes, that is part of it too. So yes my heart has grown fonder for him, and it does every day, but it has also grown stronger, whether it was the absence that has caused it, I'm not so sure. Maybe it is our deep connection, our honest communication with each other, or our trust that has caused it!
23 days left!!!! L: ILY
A year and a half long relationship summed up to this: together for 4 months, apart for 3 months, together for one weekend, apart for 2 months, together for 10 days, apart for 1 and a half months, together for another 10 days, apart for 2 months, together for 6 weeks, apart for almost 4 months by the time I get to see him again in a few weeks. OMG is probably what you are thinking right now. How can anyone survive something like that??
I think the last one failed in part because there was no trust, we both were constantly texting in upwards of 100-200 texts per day..ummm.....craziness!!! We were both insecure and that never leads to a good situation. So with the first separation with my new guy some of those feelings and insecurities started coming back: what is he doing over there? Who is he with? Can I trust him? I found myself mad because I felt so depressed and at first I didn't know if he felt the same. I quickly came to realize (even before he left I knew it but hadn't really accepted) that he loved me, and more than that, he wanted to be with me. In his words "I am just leaving the country, I am NOT leaving you". :) I had to learn to let go of my fear and insecurity and just be and let him be. Now I have no worry about what he is doing or who he is with, and if we don't talk for a day or two, that's okay!! As long as I know he is alive and healthy, I am happy! I think that we have a stronger relationship than some people who are in the same country as each other!
Whats the key to surviving a long distance relationship? Well in my case it has been: 1. A desire (from both sides) to stay together 2. absolute trust in the other person 3. letting go 4. making time for the other person. I mentioned before how difficult it was for me at first, but the more time away we have had, the more I have learned to trust him, in fact I have no option but to trust him, or else I will drive myself crazy. And letting go, that is definitely hard for someone who is a control freak sometimes. Letting go of things that are not in your control, learning not to worry about every single little thing. Having faith that he loves and misses me also. Staying up until midnight even when you have to be up early in the morning just so you can see him on Skype for 5 minutes, that is part of it too. So yes my heart has grown fonder for him, and it does every day, but it has also grown stronger, whether it was the absence that has caused it, I'm not so sure. Maybe it is our deep connection, our honest communication with each other, or our trust that has caused it!
23 days left!!!! L: ILY
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