Being nice to the ones we care about
Why is it so easy to be so hard on the ones that we care about the most? This is something I have been thinking about for a while, and something that has proved difficult for me to change. And I'm not sure exactly why it's so hard.
My Grandma always says, "be nice to the ones closest to you, even though its hard sometimes". She has said this for as long as I remember, so yes I know it and understand it, but still it is difficult for me to put into practice.
If I am away from a family member for a longer time then it becomes much easier, and the longer that I am around a person, I start to become more critical, grumpy, and downright mean sometimes. You can ask L about this... Growing up I didn't have the best modeling about being nice to your family members, but how long can I use this as an excuse? I'm an adult.
It's so easy for me to go through the day, being nice, smiley, not thinking about people too deeply, and then when I get home I seem to find every fault in someone else and cant keep my mouth shut. I am not only critical towards other people, I am heavily critical on myself. Sometimes I have the feeling that this comes because I think too much. I think WAY too much. If my mind wasn't constantly going then it would be easier to stay in this happy, smiley way all day.
Another reason that I think I do this is because home usually is a safe place. We know that our loved ones will be here for us no matter what, so it is easy to take that for granted. Until they are gone, or separated from them for an extend time. We take so much for granted in our lives, our health, our youth, our houses/lifestyle, our safety, food, and our loved ones
I want the people closest to me to be the best possible versions of themselves, because I care about them, and up til now, my tactic for getting them to do this is criticism. Which, now that I am reflecting on it, may not be the best tactic. And maybe somewhere deep down this dis-satisfaction with others is a reflection of my dis-satisfaction with myself. So what I am going to try to do from now on is focus only on being the best version of myself, in the hope that it will inspire people around me to also work towards being the best that they can. I want to be around inspired people that will help push me to continue striving to be the best that I can be.
My Grandma always says, "be nice to the ones closest to you, even though its hard sometimes". She has said this for as long as I remember, so yes I know it and understand it, but still it is difficult for me to put into practice.
If I am away from a family member for a longer time then it becomes much easier, and the longer that I am around a person, I start to become more critical, grumpy, and downright mean sometimes. You can ask L about this... Growing up I didn't have the best modeling about being nice to your family members, but how long can I use this as an excuse? I'm an adult.
It's so easy for me to go through the day, being nice, smiley, not thinking about people too deeply, and then when I get home I seem to find every fault in someone else and cant keep my mouth shut. I am not only critical towards other people, I am heavily critical on myself. Sometimes I have the feeling that this comes because I think too much. I think WAY too much. If my mind wasn't constantly going then it would be easier to stay in this happy, smiley way all day.
Another reason that I think I do this is because home usually is a safe place. We know that our loved ones will be here for us no matter what, so it is easy to take that for granted. Until they are gone, or separated from them for an extend time. We take so much for granted in our lives, our health, our youth, our houses/lifestyle, our safety, food, and our loved ones
I want the people closest to me to be the best possible versions of themselves, because I care about them, and up til now, my tactic for getting them to do this is criticism. Which, now that I am reflecting on it, may not be the best tactic. And maybe somewhere deep down this dis-satisfaction with others is a reflection of my dis-satisfaction with myself. So what I am going to try to do from now on is focus only on being the best version of myself, in the hope that it will inspire people around me to also work towards being the best that they can. I want to be around inspired people that will help push me to continue striving to be the best that I can be.
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